Help! I'm Naked!!

Not literally.  Metaphorically. My latest revelation on the road to healthy weight loss and increased sanity is that I currently have no coping strategies for dealing with the frustrations of everyday life.  I'm not using drugs, alcohol, tobacco, sex, shopping or food to self-medicate . . . . . man am I bitchy!!


Recently while working at the county fair I actually argued with an octogenarian - no shit! Yelled at an old lady!!  Granted she WAS really nasty and rude first, but ffs - yelling at an old woman?!?!  I suppose you can imagine the shell-shocked look on my husband's face lately - poor thing - on the front lines and all. So I ask myself:  how do mentally stable, healthy people handle stress?  I am officially on a quest! 


*off to Google How to Handle Stress*


Step 1 - Identify the sources of stress in your life.
Sounds simple enough. 


Lemmesee . . . . 


psycho family of origin issues, working in near-100° temps for several weeks straight, online retail selling in the worst economy in my adult lifetime, recent acne outbreak, being married (depends on the day), major life change (being recently banded) 


How's that for starters?


Then there's the list of things NOT to do to handle stress:

Smoking  CHECK! Drinking too much  CHECK! Overeating or undereating  CHECK! Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer   *HMMMM* Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities   CHECK!

Using pills or drugs to relax     CHECK!  Sleeping too much  CHECK! Procrastinating   *HMMMM* Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems  *HMMMM* Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)   *DO RUDE 80 YR OLD WOMEN COUNT?*

So what's a girl supposed to do? And I do use the word "girl" with purpose.  Women are taught to be loving, nurturing, understanding, patient, kind, feminine, demure, tactful, modest . . . . I feel like I'm forgetting some . . . .

But what I feel most often lately is angry, frustrated, rude and intolerant.  Stuck in the grocery line behind the woman with the unruly kids??  A rational and sane woman in her right mind might smile and wait patiently or even go so far as to say (disingenuously of course) how cute the kids are.  Not me baby!  I find the words "Oh for fuck's sake" on the tip of my tongue, and visualize myself ramming her and her brats with my shopping cart screaming, "It's 20 items or less you stupid cow!"  

But of course I hold it in.  After all I don't want the men in white coats to find me - I'm in witness protection from them and certainly don't want to do anything to tip them off as to my whereabouts.