Could I have the "How Effing Crazy Am I?" blood test, please??

I'm getting sick of the sound of my own voice. That high-pitched shrieking and yelling really wears on me.


I have this daily ritual I've done for the last 20 years or so, where I ask myself, "What could I have done better today?"  I gotta tell you I'm seriously thinking of giving this up.  I mean how long can the list get before you just throw in the towel and count yourself as damned???  I'm talking Academy Award Winning, Nobel Prize, take no prisoners, epic bitchiness.  


I honestly can't tell if it's depression, some kind of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross anger phase of grief since being banded, menopause, or because people are so fucking stupid and I just can't take it any more.  


I vote for the last one.

I know I've mentioned this before, but just when I think people can't get any more dense, they do.  Yes, it was an eBay buyer - isn't it always??  The item was a polycarbonate/nylon 2-pc luggage set. (Click here to see the actual listing.)  Really, you should look at this first.  Take your time.  


It took ME a lot of time to: 


a) check both pieces of luggage for flaws 
b) take the photos 
c) crop the photos so they look professional 
d) caption the photos in Paint 
e) circle the missing wheel in red in Paint 
f) write the description 
g) mark the item with the correct inventory number  
h) place the item in the listed inventory department


So the buyer sends me this email today:

Your discription of the luggage I purchased through Ebay was certaily not good. The smaller one had a broken spinner wheel, and the large one is way too big for me to ever use. Things like this should be disclosed - eapecially size and true condition. I buy a lot on Ebay and this is the first thing that has been really bad. I asked for a discription tring to find the sizes without success. As a low income senior I feel very cheated.

What?!  Really??  You mean just like in the underlined text in the "discription"?? You mean just like it shows in closeup photo 9?  You mean the size like the dimensions which are in BOLD TEXT in the "discription"?  As a low income senior my ass!!  You know where you were really cheated??  By whomever it was that showed you how to use eBay.  One word honey: S-C-R-O-L-L!!  Oh, and for the record - being a member in eBay since January of 2011 and purchasing 5 items including this one does NOT constitute buying a lot of things on eBay.  Now I know that not only are you a bad speller, but you're a big fat liar!


But of course, my response was of a more professional tone: 

I go to great lengths to disclose every detail of my items, including closeups of their flaws.  I've pasted an exact copy of the item description below for your perusal.  In addition to the missing wheel being clearly described in the listing, there were two large photos comparing the side with the wheel to the side missing the wheel cap.  You'll also notice that the sizes for each case are included in the description in large bold text.  (here I pasted an exact copy of the listing "discription")

Grandma Cantread responded in moments:

Thank you for the reply. I tried to bring up a full description of the luggage and there was none except "used" and something else.

The large suitcase is 33" high and wider and deeper than the dementions you sent. The small one is approximately what you described for the large one (26" high) so you can see why it is not satisfactory. This is the first thing I have purchased through Ebay that has been wrong even if I could have seen the full description. That would have been the sizes I need for a planned flight. It is very nice quality, but what do you do with a 33" high suitcase? I have no use for it and would not have ordered. I was expected that they would be the 25", and a carry on. Perhaps you were describing the set in excellent condition was sold about a week before. It is a wonderful quality.

I also bid because of the high approval rate for your site. Unless this made right it will now go down when I fill out the approval rating.

I hope it does not because I know bad reviews hurt the seller and I do not like hurt anyone. I did bring up the close up and could see that there are eight wheels on each suit case but not the wheel that was off. I tried to get the dementions through you but Ebay will not allow contact with directly thorough their site. I don't know why they list the addresses. 

Ok well, now the luggage is apparently demented as well as larger than her imaginary friends told her.  I'd LOVE to tell her what I'd do with a 33" suitcase.  And I'm betting I could fit the body in there . . . 


I am now officially pissed.  So I respond:

I'm sorry you're having trouble accessing the listing, but I assure you it contains everything you're now objecting to. Did you scroll down? There are 10 photos in the listing, two of which clearly show the wheel issue, and one of which shows the missing wheel circled in RED!! You mention that my listing says 26" but in fact it says 28". Perhaps you are looking at a listing other than mine?

I'm very disappointed that you would threaten negative feedback for an error that is clearly of your own making. As you said, I am a high rated seller and negative feedback does hurt sellers. I find it difficult to believe you would penalize me for your assumptions ("I was expected that they would be the 25", and a carry on.") when the facts are quite clearly stated and shown in the listing.

If you wish to return the bags, I would be willing to make a refund of $62 only - nothing for the original shipping or return shipping. Under the circumstances this is quite fair.

I haven't gotten a response to that one yet, but she's probably in bed already. After all it is past 7 pm. 


So this brings me to my real concern - because like it or not, stupid people WILL continue to buy on eBay - I think my frustration tolerance is seriously damaged.  Could I be in ACTUAL menopause?  I've been in peri-menopause for about 10 years now.  Supposedly.  How the hell do you know??  


There are two things they don't tell you when you're a young woman. No one prepares you for the fact that 1) the triangle in your panties migrates toward your thighs and 2) the "change of life".  Suddenly I feel like the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland, "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!"  Is this menopause??  I've had night sweats and hot flashes for the past 5 years, but I'm only 48.  What gives??  


Oh joy, a trip to the gyno.


I'm gonna be PISSED if I'm in menopause and I'm still dealing with zits!!  

OMGOMGOMG - the lady with the suitcase emailed back!!  

Now you are giving a different description of the luggage set. First you said 25" and 28" for the each of the two suitcases. They are 26" and 33" high. The large on is very wide and thick. I will go through Ebay with this problem. I have yout first email that you atated the sizes in.

I did scrole down and did not get a description as you say was there. I even printed out what was on the web site.

Sorry to tell her, but I already contacted eBay and they agreed the lady is bat-shit blind and I win . . .
Message followed by this, her obvious but misguided attempt to "tell on me" to eBay - sent to . . .wait for it . . . ME!!!

The luggage I purchased from Canaan573 was not  as described with the luggage on Ebay. I have contacted them about this ONLY -not to buy anything. I had first tried to get to a response from Ebay about the luggage. Their reply was that the set included one 25" suitcase, and one 28" suitcase.

 

The fact is that the large one is 33" tall and the smaller one (usable) is 26" high. It is too large to check but I can check it on my flight. They must not know how to measure. It is very nice luggage of high quality. I had clicked description and did not get the information they e-sent to me. I even printed out the full ad on your web site.

 

What can be done about the 33" unusable suitcase that they contend was supposed to be 25"? I paid $107.++ with shipping for the luggage. Had they been 25" and 28" as described I would have no problem with keeping the set.

Remember in the beginning when SHE said she "would have thought they were 25" and 28"??  


Wow.  Her menopause is REALLY bad . . .

Help! I'm Naked!!

Not literally.  Metaphorically. My latest revelation on the road to healthy weight loss and increased sanity is that I currently have no coping strategies for dealing with the frustrations of everyday life.  I'm not using drugs, alcohol, tobacco, sex, shopping or food to self-medicate . . . . . man am I bitchy!!


Recently while working at the county fair I actually argued with an octogenarian - no shit! Yelled at an old lady!!  Granted she WAS really nasty and rude first, but ffs - yelling at an old woman?!?!  I suppose you can imagine the shell-shocked look on my husband's face lately - poor thing - on the front lines and all. So I ask myself:  how do mentally stable, healthy people handle stress?  I am officially on a quest! 


*off to Google How to Handle Stress*


Step 1 - Identify the sources of stress in your life.
Sounds simple enough. 


Lemmesee . . . . 


psycho family of origin issues, working in near-100° temps for several weeks straight, online retail selling in the worst economy in my adult lifetime, recent acne outbreak, being married (depends on the day), major life change (being recently banded) 


How's that for starters?


Then there's the list of things NOT to do to handle stress:

Smoking  CHECK! Drinking too much  CHECK! Overeating or undereating  CHECK! Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer   *HMMMM* Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities   CHECK!

Using pills or drugs to relax     CHECK!  Sleeping too much  CHECK! Procrastinating   *HMMMM* Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems  *HMMMM* Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)   *DO RUDE 80 YR OLD WOMEN COUNT?*

So what's a girl supposed to do? And I do use the word "girl" with purpose.  Women are taught to be loving, nurturing, understanding, patient, kind, feminine, demure, tactful, modest . . . . I feel like I'm forgetting some . . . .

But what I feel most often lately is angry, frustrated, rude and intolerant.  Stuck in the grocery line behind the woman with the unruly kids??  A rational and sane woman in her right mind might smile and wait patiently or even go so far as to say (disingenuously of course) how cute the kids are.  Not me baby!  I find the words "Oh for fuck's sake" on the tip of my tongue, and visualize myself ramming her and her brats with my shopping cart screaming, "It's 20 items or less you stupid cow!"  

But of course I hold it in.  After all I don't want the men in white coats to find me - I'm in witness protection from them and certainly don't want to do anything to tip them off as to my whereabouts.